And I’m back…with a cup that runneth over March 13, 2012

I’m not quite sure why I’ve been gone for so long.  Maybe a slight identity crisis or general questioning of this whole blogging thing.  But it seems as I approach the ripe age of 32 (t-minus 45 days…holy crap!), it seems like we’re making some progress here.  The first bit-o-news is that we finally received our blessing from the city of Atlanta to begin our renovation – it’s only been a 9 month process!  So last week, the deck came down and the rotted siding was happily stripped from the  lean-to sunroom - good riddens!

We’re feeling all official now with our Waste Management dumpster parked in the driveway.  This week the sunroom was supposed to tumble however we have a rain delay, so hopefully later this week or next.  Big props to my father in law, Robbie Bailey for designing our new addition and being our general contractor (www.baileysconstruction.biz).

 

Our hopes are to have the renovation completed by the end of July.  We’re kinda up against a hard and firm deadline…..

 

Meet “The Bean“.  Coming soon:  September 4, 2012

 

So it seems that Thirty Therapy, while still that soul-searching, joyful life seeking - blog will still remain true to its core, we may have a few detours in conversation (conversations I wasn’t even sure I would ever have).  But God has a way of taking charge of our lives and leading us in the right direction.  I still feel that who I am as an individual is not defined by my title as a mother (to-be), I fully recognize that it will be a huge part of who I become.  Plus, I think this was God’s way of saying “get your ass in gear and get stuff done; quit talking about it and do it.”  (not sure if God would actually say “ass” but it sounded like the appropriate noun to emphasize urgency).

 

So that’s it for now.   Not much…a renovation, a baby…just a regular, uneventful life.

 

Real Life February 16, 2012

I always find myself in complete state of jealousy when thumbing through magazines or blogs and I see these well-put-together homes with the perfect décor and accents, paintings and art.  I, on the other hand, deal with dog hair tumble weeds, a teetering avalanche of junk mail, a husband who throws his clothes on anything other than a hanger and a kitchen that is in desperate need of an atomic bomb explosion so that I can start anew.  As for me, I leave a landmine of shoes throughout the house and layers of purses on door knobs. 

 

So as I sat today lusting through the pages of my favorite decor blogs, I thought to myself…how do they keep everything so neat?  Where are their messes?  Or maybe it’s just a façade? 

 

Inspiring, yes. 

Beautiful to look at, absolutely. 

 

But the fact of the matter is that when I dwell too long in blog style la la land, it makes me feel quite inadequate when it comes to my homemaking skills. 

 

So, here’s to remotes thrown on the sofa, purses stacked at the front door and pillows haphazardly strewn.  Here’s to real life!  Can I get an Amen!?!

 

Thanks for the soapbox.  I promise a more productive post next time.

Breaking Bad February 13, 2012

Habits, that is.  Having such high hopes for all that I wanted to accomplish this week, my well-laid plans were thwarted by HGTV, Food Network and reruns of Friends.  As I sat in our living room, fixated on the images displayed on the flat screen I literally could not move from my well-worn seat on the sofa.  I’m not typically a “TV person” per se, but lately I can’t seem to pull myself from the glowing beacon, a very uncharacteristic trait.  The remote has become my security blanket, the TV Guide has become my Day Planner.   And as my husband so lovingly pointed out to me this weekend, I’ve become a TV zombie and a remote hog…but in my defensive, I put up with 24/7 ESPN during football season.

 

Nevertheless, it was an eye-opening experience.  Why couldn’t I simply rise from the sofa and walk away from the TV?  Why was it so hard?  Oh the shame! 

 

Years ago I bought Stephen Covey’s The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.  I read it, but that’s about it.  The only thing I remember is the Old Lady/Young Lady illusion (do you see them?)

 

…since this is the only thing I remember, I guess I failed to create the habits to be an effective reader. 

 

With my eyes so widely opened by my husband’s remarks, I resolved to change.  So I dug out the Habits book and committed myself to replacing the remote control with 352 pages of lessons in personal change.

 

The beauty of a blog is that your thoughts, comments and commitments are set in cyber-stone.  So I’m happy to have the forum by which I can maintain accountability.  Join me as I reconnect with the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People in hopes that I will replace my bad TV habits with productive and effective habits. 

 

Stay tuned (pun intended)!  

My Super Duper Guide to Productivity February 6, 2012

Feeling a little behind the 8-ball lately, I’ve created a way to get me back in gear and moving forward.  The centerpiece of my master plan is prioritization coupled with time management.  Here’s the formula:

 

Step 1:  Write down all that you want to accomplish (go big, it won’t hurt you).

 

Step 2:  Prioritize.  Assign a priority ranking (A, B or C) to each goal

 

Step 3:  Group your A priorities, B’s and so forth.

 

Step 4:  Time commitment.  How much time will you need to devote to each goal?  You can determine your own schedule whether it be working one 30 minute segment per day, two 15 minute, or “x” hours per week, however it breaks up make it work for your life.

 

Step 5:  Look at your priority grouping and pick the least time consuming, highest priority goal and do it.

 

The greatest obstacle we face is ourselves.  If you’re like me, I have lofty goals, and many of them; which often leaves me frozen with the simple confusion of where to begin.  By organizing my goals in this manner, I, in effect, thaw out and get moving.  Further, by attacking the least time consuming goal first we gain momentum from accomplishment rather than frustration born from our growing To Do list.  So dear friends, get those To Dos, To Done!

 

 

Tranquility January 30, 2012

Whether it’s finding peace with where you are in life or discovering that delicate balance amongst all things that vie for our attention, I’m always blown away by those insanely clear people who seem to have it all figured out.  Take a read, this post is from Kimberly Wilson at tranquility du jour:

 

“after 12 hours, oui TWELVE hours of slumber (someone was exhausted), i walked sir louis and headed to tranquil space to get my yoga on. yum! picked up some black beans, whole grain tortillas, and salsa and headed home. made a delicious vegan lunch and headed to mint for a much-needed massage. my body is so sore from the 3 yoga classes this week coupled with all the travel. topped it off with a divine steam and have a happy body. next, headed to hardware store in adam’s morgan to pick up fishing wire to hang the glass hearts i picked up in mexico. stumbled upon a vintage shop, picked up two delicious noir goodies for $35, and headed home. tended my beloved patio garden for a few hours while the carla bruni pandora station serenaded me. finally settled in for some writing while sipping moscato. a delightful, productive, restorative saturday indeed.” 

 

So my burning question is how to create a day, and dare to dream every day, such as this one?  It has such an easy way about which the hours unfolded during her oh so fabulous Saturday.  Notice not once did she mention TV…no Real Housewives, or reruns of Seinfeld, or those infomercials for the 12-in-one mop).  I’m convinced that the real way we live out a peaceful day is to turn off the noise (TV) and enjoy life beyond the broadband.  To be productive is not to be busy, but merely intentional with your time.  And with that intention you just may find yourself having a blissful, tranquil day.  Which to me is much better than a stressed, over-committed and I-needed-six-cups-of-coffee-just-to-survive kind of day.

Big Fat Nothing…Writer’s block January 27, 2012

As you’ve probably noticed, our little therapy sessions here at Thirty Therapy have gotten sparse.  I can’t quite put my finger on the pesky culprit, but the words have hit a brick wall.  I think it’s because I’ve gotten out of the habit of writing frequently, plus my day job has been quite demanding as of late.  Or maybe it’s because I’m being lazy, or because it’s been dreary and rainy (ideal napping weather)…either way, it makes me feel incomplete.  I love writing.  As with my words, I want to run myself into a brick wall, maybe just maybe that will jar lose some quips or funny anecdotes.  But nope, a big fat nothing.  Maybe I need some ginkgo balboa.        

Thank You Dave Ramsey (and a Tombstone Pizza) January 22, 2012

One thing my twenties taught me is that I can spend like an Upper East Side housewife.  Well, maybe not to the 5th Avenue extreme, but I could certainly hold my own.  Even though I was earning a very good living, I still outspent my income.  But that lesson, and Dave Ramesy, have really put us on the straight and narrow.  We haven’t used credit in over four years.  We pay cash for vacations, household repairs (amen to an emergency fund) and we just paid cash for a “new” car.

 

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.  Well, we stopped the insanity and it feels so liberating.  Sure, it’s stressful and if Saks is have a sale…holy cow the restraint!  But a Tombstone pizza for $2.99 fills my belly just like a Mellow Mushroom pie (albeit The Mushroom adds a little bit of crack to their pizzas, but the end result (I’m full) is the same).  It’s all about choices.

 

As Dave says, “Today, live like no other so that you can live like no other.”  We’re still working on it, but are certainly better prepared for life’s little curve balls.

When will it be good enough; being content with now January 18, 2012

We work, we learn, we grow.  Stepping and advancing…but towards what?  More money?  Greater satisfaction out of life?  When will it finally be enough to say “ahh, I’ve arrived”?  Our culture drives our ambition.  We’ve become fascinated with more.  So in the very simplest of ways, being happy with now is the greatest advancement we can make.  And I’m quite confident, that as soon as you let go of the quest, you’ll find you get there so much quicker.  Funny how life works.

 

Just a little food for thought…

Vacation Syndrome January 11, 2012

With our bags packed and heavy hearts, we headed towards the airport to return home to Atlanta.  Six days in the tropical land of Key West will certainly widen your gaze to a different way of life.  Back to reality.  The routine, the mundane and the cold await us.  As much as I searched for every reason to stay, thinking about the odd jobs I could do…work in a gallery, clean pools, drive the bicycle taxi or sell seashells by the seashore…I come back to the feeling, no, vision of an extraordinary life; one that extends beyond my current circle and into a whole new plane of existence.  One that is filled with the same excitement and awe that induces the immediate sense of relaxation as you step into the warmth of a vacation getaway.  Get-away…as in, leave all our imperfections, worries and to do lists at home. 

 

Vacation syndrome is a state of mind, really.  While our physical surroundings may not be palm trees and blue water, we can find peace in our daily life, and carry that slow, relaxed island pace home.  So, instead of jumping right back into my normal routine, I’m going to ease myself into it and perform each motion, action and errand with deliberate measure.  Instead of getting wrapped up in where I’m not, I’ll enjoy exactly where I am.       

In the meantime, enjoy some of these shots from Key West.

 

10 Years Later…lessons from marriage January 6, 2012

Married at the ripe age of 21.  Today, we celebrate our 10 year wedding anniversary.  Many thought we were crazy, rushing it, and I even got a “she’s not pregnant is she?” (of course, I was not).  Regardless of the age at which you walk down the plank aisle, marriage is tough and it takes a lot of work.  Anyone who says otherwise is full of shit.  Naively, I thought “what’s the big deal?  You’re in love, you get married.  The end, happily ever after.”  I learned very quickly, just because you said “I do” doesn’t snap of the fingers change the fact that you are an individual, and so is your partner.  You can choose to grow together or apart.

 

I’m not gonna lie, there were times when we both wanted out.  But the thought of a life without each other was worse than the frustration of any argument or disagreement.  So here are my lessons from the first 10 years:

 

1.       Bite your tongue…this was extremely difficult for me, sometimes I’d want to say something so spiteful it was burning a hole in my vocal chords.

 

2.       Yield… choose your battles, you don’t always have to be “right”

 

3.       Laugh…this is probably the most important lesson.  Taking myself too seriously only perpetuated any tense situation (I hate it, but he calls this the chip on my shoulder).  He’s right…Damn, I hate that.

 

4.        Marriage has seasons…stretches of time when things are so heavenly blissful and other times when a daily tiff is the norm.

 

5.       Give…it’s not always about you (I want it to be, and he lets it be most of the time, but things work so much smoother when there’s equal give).

 

6.       Communicate…okay, this may be the most important lesson (we’re still working on this one, but certainly a lot better than when we started).

 

7.       Do your share of the crappy chores…he cleans the litter box and I vacuum.

 

8.       Let it go…as hard as it is, don’t hold a grudge, don’t say “I told you so”

 

Marriage is a delicate balance of sanity and bliss.  After 10 years, we’ve learned that there are many unflattering moments; skid marks are real, a grown person can throw a temper tantrum, morning breath that makes your toes curl.  Marriage exposes everything, but acceptance and love just for being yourself, in spite of yourself, is a beautiful thing.